Hello, fellas! Back again with me, Tari :)
Like the tittle of this posting, i barely feel confused. I don't know what should i do.
I just love to be alone lately so that i can think about myself, my family, and my future. I am still 19 years old. Althought i have passed 17 years old that means being a mature person, but i still a little immature girl who still want to play, enjoy my day. But, I kinda force myself to be a mature girl now. I must strong inside like a boy, not being a weak girl. I think my friends also think why i never cry a lot and why i never think about search a boyfriend. To be honest, i always cry whenever i am alone, in public transportation and also before to sleep. Thinking about my future and my duty to my family is an easy topic to make me cry. Even, when i gether with my college friends, i also think about it but not until crying. No one knows about my this deep thought. No one hears my story, just Allah SWT. Allah always being a loyal listener. Allah knows my 2 years struggle :"
Do you curious why i never think about having a boyfriend? My answer is..."because i want to reach my dream and make my family to be happy first!" I also envy if one of my friend gets a boyfriend. But, no problem. I still have nice friends who still make my day being colorful :) I realize that I live in this world beside praying, also to beatify my parents. I think everyone know that this world is not eternal, right? ;)
Right now, I must study hard and have spirit to reach my dreams. No matter how much i will suffer, no matter how much I will lost my wonderful tenageer time, no matter how much i will try, THE IMPORTANT THING is I have to put aside my own desire to realize my parents's desire.
Let's work hard, play hard and pray hard!
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